Bits and Pizzas

*** I think I need my computer looked at---everytime I command that my files back-up I hear beeping sounds.

*** It's an old pc---I opened it up and found an old squeezed out tube of Bill Gates' acne cream.

*** My favorote game now is Computer Whack-a Mole, --you're challenged to keep up with and delete at least a dozen annoyingly recurring pop-ups.

*** In a new tell-all book, Gary Coleman's normal-sized ex-wife tells of the first compliment he made to her while they were dancing---"Your hair smells beautiful!"

*** I knew Tony Snow should never have said during a press conference, "If I'm lyin' I'm dyin'!"

*** I wouldn't say McCain is old but he thinks a Graphic Novel is "Tropic of Cancer"!

*** I cried because I had no shoes, till I saw a man who had no socks.

*** "A disturbing new study finds that new studies are disturbing."

*** I think my bank's employees are of a bunch of fiduciary bags!

*** I bought some guaranteed drug-free urine to pass a drug test for a new job---They told me that there was good news and bad news: Good news was, I passed; bad news, I'm pregnant.

*** There may be more than one way to skin a cat, but do not expect the cat's cooperation in any of them.

*** Difference between a regular bank and a sperm bank---at the sperm bank, after you make a deposit you LOSE interest.