Well, the wiz kids in Lotus Land's film factories are placing their bets on the interesting notion that today's major audience demographic---ages 10-30---is gonna plunk down 9 samolis, plus pop for popocorn and soda (which can be bought on installment plans, I've heard) for a biopic of doomed aviatrix, Amelia Earhart.
I would like a piece of the action.
I mean, are these Hollywood producers closely related to the geniuses that brought down Wall Street as assuredly as Osama the Caveman demolished a few buildings in the vicinity?
I will wager that this film will be a box-office dud to the extent that Ishtar and Heaven's Gate will seem like Titanic and The Dark Knight by comparison.
I feel that this will be the case, in spite of the fact that it may be a decent film, well-acted, directed, blah, blah...
However, I gotta feeling that even this artistic redemption (which probably isn't in the offing either---does anyone else smell Alexander here?) will be of small consolation the number crunchers on the Left Coast.
I imagine the script meetings and idea-pitching:
" Alright, guys---this can't miss--- I mean look how well The Aviator did!!
" Okay , we gotta a woman who died 50 years before the audience was born!!---we got an audience who has about as much interest and curiosity about history as Al Capone had in becoming a ballet dancer!!
"I tell ya---how do we lose??
"We got tomboyish Hillary Swank as the tomboyish Earhart-- she's has that sorta unattractive attractiveness, a la Jennifer Garner, if you're with me.
"BTW Earhart looked like Charles Lindbergh in drag -- or maybe it's the other way around!!---I digress!!
"We got Richard Gere, as the the in real life dully unattractive publishing potentate George Putnam.
"In reality, Earhart married him--and made no bones about it--for his money and not much else--- now, that's casting! RICHARD GERE playing 'unattractive.' Genius!!
"We got her extra-marital screwin' around---didja know she had an affair with Gore Vidal's dad?? I guess he knew she went around the world long before her attempt-- Heh! Heh!... sorry!
"And then her mysterious disappearnce---did she crash? Land on a Pacific island where she was killed by the Japanese? Faked her disappearance and made her way home---like Tom Hanks in Castaway-- and, sick of her life of being stalked by newshounds, set up a an everyday ordinary life as a housewife and mother in Teaneck, New Jersey?
"I tellya --this film's gonna be a blockbuster, or my name isn't Alan Greenspan Jr.!!
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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