These are the Folks, Jokes!

"LaToya Jackson Says Her Brother Was 'Murdered'"---and she was talking about Tito's career!

"Pentagon Considers Smoking Ban for Troops"---we wouldn't wanna put their lives in danger,would we?!

"Searchers Hunt '3-Foot' Earthworm in Northwest"--- of interest to those who fish for whales. I'm not sure this one's gonna make the cut on "Monsterquest".

"Old Man Barks to Scare Bear From His Kitchen"--while his dog races to get the shotgun.

"Afghans turn to Taliban in fear of own police"---ah, winning 'hearts and minds' again!!

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*** My mother loved to knit---I gave her steel wool and she knitted me a car.

*** I'll never call that computer repairman again---he said he doesn't do Windows!

*** My cousin quit her job as a psychiatrist's receptionist. She said she couldn't take it any more.
"When I was early, he said I was anxious. When I was late, he said I was hostile, and when I was right on time he called me compulsive!"

*** I know a guy who says he's a sex addict. He said, "I keep seeing G spots before my eyes!"

*** I hear of this new quiz show for next season, "Make Actor Miguel Ferrer Smile!"

*** My sister!---someone called her antidiluvian---she protested, "I have nothing against the Deluvians!!"
True story--yesterday she called me and said she thought she might have the hives.
I asked if she looked on the computer for info.
(Let me preface by saying that compared to her computer proficiency, I'm Bill Gates and Steve Job's love child!)
She said--"Yeah, but I couldn't find anything!"
"Well, what did you type in the search engine?!"
"Hives.Com".---(every Oliver Hardy take combined in one!)