•THIS IS NEWS TO ME:
"Researchers: Earth and Venus may collide in 3.5 billion years"---that's a relief. For a second I thought it said 3.5 million.
"Newt Gingrich proudly declares, 'I am not a citizen of the world!!'", confirming what many ufologists suspected.
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*** One of my not-too-bright nephews is in the Army stockade---he misunderstood when the sergeant yelled "Sound off!!"
*** I hear that when baseball fans sing the national anthem in Boston, Milwaukee and Atlanta, they end it with ". and the homes of the Braves"
*** Some one asked me if I really thought "Less is more". I said "More or less."
*** I've read The Stand and It---that Stephen King sure knows how to make a short story long.
*** (very blue humor alert) The latest porno actress sensation is Fire Adams---her specialty is rubbing two dicks together.
*** I read that Tennessee Wlliams wrote an unpublished manuscript about a sweltering summer he spent in New York. It was titled "The Long Hot Summer on the Roof".
*** I can tell my aunt is very ambivalent about ending her 30 year marriage---she got a 5-yard restraining order against my uncle.
*** I'm sick of being besieged by creditors---I got more 800 numbers on my caller ID than the 9th century!
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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