tchachkas

*** I never could get that clear in The Maltese Falcon---was it, on Thursday they killed Thursby, or Thursday was killed on Thursby?

*** My wife said, "You're always trying to psychoanalyze me!" I answered, "Okay, when you say 'psychoanalyze me' what do you mean?'"

*** Boy, these swarming mosquitoes are tough and aggressive. One of 'em knocked a can of "Off" out of my hand!

*** My sister. I told her that bran muffins were good for her health. She asked, "Okay, but which brand?"

*** My wife and I oughta go on stage---we're always making a scene!

*** My slutty niece is not a Rhodes scholar--- she got a job dancing on the pole at the fire station.

*** My crooked Uncle Izzy, no genius either, is in hot water---you'd think he'd know better than to advertise a Fire Sale a week before his store burned down.