She Hardly Knew him but Himalaya

Hey--Sorry I wasn't here for my usual Sunday gig---I was doing sit-ups with a sickfriend!

*** On the path to spiritual enlightenment, one should be mindful and strive that the body, the vessel of the soul, is in good health and condition. Look at Buddha...Okay, bad example!

*** "No," I had to assure an anxious woman who was afraid to answer her phone or open her mail, "there is no such thing as Karmic Debt Collectors! "

*** Again, I must warn of the dangers of belief in magnetic jewelry---One acolyte wore so many such bracelets and necklaces, she kept getting pulled North!

*** My revered wife, Sylviadayenta can be a difficult and disagreeable woman. Whenever I begin meditation she puts on her Spike Jones records.

*** The life of ascetic self-denial requires strong faith. Many try to reach enlightenment but fail.
I think of a holy man, who spent ten years sitting alone silently on top of a Himalayan mountain.
When he came down, we asked him what he had learned.
"I learned," he said, "I'd like to apply for a Visa Gold Card."

*** My revered guru cousin, Juspasinthru, is an expert in Feng Shui home design (by the way ladies, he's not married!)
He explains Feng Shui in home design as "The arrangement domestic objects to facilitate and harmonize the flow of the Great Life Force" He tells us that clutter is the enemy of the chi energy.
Compassionate man that he is he took all our furniture.

*** It is so that the great sex instruction book, the Kama Sutra, containing 30...count 'em, 30 positions, was written by a virgin.
After he eventually knew a woman, he revised the book and crossed out 22 of them as possibly necessitating prolonged chiropractic treatment..

*** Just an aside to my beloved colleagues Deepak and Wayne Dyer, re: their prolific book writing ---OKAY GUYS, WE GOT IT THE FIRST TIME!
But I kid, because I revere!

Hey, you guys have been blissful
Don't create any negative Karma I wouldn't create!
Have a good Oneness!