*** I found a book---it describes the complete workings of the digestive system from intake to elimination---it's called Voyage to the Bottom of the Seat.
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*** I once lived in a mobile home but now I take the pad less traveled.
*** A Christian Family Association is charging one of the major search engines of subliminally encouraging men to visit porn sites.
"It says it right there," claimed an indignant spokesman--"Go ogle!"
*** I just read a very revealing bio of Bob Dylan. One revelation is that after a hard day being a singing visionary prophet, he likes to relax by soaking in a bath full of cherry Jello and watching "I Dream of Jeannie" reruns.
*** One guy told me the problem with my comedy act is presentation. "Definitely man, it would help if you weren't present!"
*** My sister heard about the big bailout and invested all her money in a pail business!
*** Neil Young was arrested for picking up a prostitute. Great, 'The Heart of Gold with a Whore'!
*** I suppose cosmetic surgeons have to be collagen-educated.
*** When I was a kid I wouldn't let my parents buy me Buster Brown shoes---I was afraid, when I put the shoes on I would crush that cute kid and his dog!
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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