"I'm Getting Sent To a Mental Asylum over You"

*** The shrink told me that many of my personality traits are just in my "hardwiring".
Great. Now I have to go to tech repair?!!

*** Some guy told me that it took years for TV to cast a black man as a lawyer.
Typical liberal---doesn't he remember Calhoun in Amos 'n' Andy?

*** Fast Food employers are reportedly looking for new teenage employees who seem to be "counter intuitive"

*** My career criminal uncle, Max, is breakin' rocks again. He tried to rob a bank through the Drive-Thru. He put the note and his gun in the vacuum tube canister. "They tricked me!" he said. "They sent the gun back without the bullets!!"

*** I remember being shocked once when a girl told me she was having her period. It really gave me pause.

*** I think a lot of the people who went to synagogue in my neighborhood were hypocrites. One day a week they'd cover their heads and spend the rest of the week covering their asses.

*** I listened to that Beatles song, Rocky Raccoon---about a gunfighting cowboy raccoon---Yunno, I think those guys were on something!