Ticket to Wry

THIS IS NEWS TO ME:"
McCain will not vote for stimulus package as it stands now"--- okay, after the Viagra wears off??

• "Scientists try to save Tasmanian devil from contagious cancer"---but first must get it to stop spinning like a dervish.

• "Woman spends 33 days with 5,000 scorpions, breaks record"--- when ya have a dream, go for it!!
•
"NASA Gets First Look at Far Side of Sun ----report giant G.E. letters on back.

"Plumber Retrieves 7-Carat Diamond Ring From Toilet" --- Says he's delighted with his boyfriend's novel way of popping the question.
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*** I'm really into auto mechanics, carpentry, furniture building, home repair. Yeah, I read all about that stuff.

*** I got hit by a car. The driver got out and profusely apologized. "My car usually stops on a dime!" he said. "Yeah," I said, "but this time the dime was in my pocket!!"

*** I'm sick of listening to my friend drone on and on about being a beekeeper.

*** I read where a longtime Hollywood stuntman, whose specialty was being a man on fire, retired after a "long and extinguished career."