This Whole Gators Thing is a Croc!

*** I have to admit I got real short with my wife after she accused me of using too many sesquipedalianisms.

*** I think my psychiatrist's a little too sqeamish. When I started telling him about the intimate aspects of my life, he went, "Whoa! Too much information!!"

*** I think my sister has too many cats. She's beginning to cough up fur balls.

*** I told her she should have them fixed. She said, "Why, none of them are broken!"

*** She's really something. She thinks Nostradamus wrote "Que Sera, Sera".

*** The younger generation are not, shall we say, literary-inclined . It is said the better writers among them are shooting for the Great American Text Message.

*** I really don't get the big deal over this Illinois senator mess. I mean, it ain't like it's the first time a crooked politician has appointed anyone to office.

*** George Bush is telling everyone how, because of his presidency the world is a more democratic and peaceful place. He also announced that when they leave the White House he and Laura will take up residence at Cinderella's Castle in the Magic Kingdom.

*** My grandfather's a real super-patriot, He's always yelling "Remember the Alamo", "Remember the Maine", "Remember Pearl Harbor"---now if he could remember to put his pants on before leaving the house.