The Old Rugged Menorah

THIS IS NEWS TO ME:
"Calif. man uses candy cane to subdue knife-wielding neighbor"---Are we starting to see a trend here? What's next? "Man tortures kidnapees with incessant playing of "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas"?!!

" Jeb Bush reportedly to run for Florida senator"---Analysts believe he's trying to ride in on his brother's cocktails
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*** British actress Judith Dench reportedly slapped a man who called her a dame.

*** The American Medical Association apologized for publishing a treatise on Sudden Infant Death entitled, "They Died With Their Booties On".

*** I used to call one of my old cars Bill Haley because it would shake, rattle and roll.

*** In my bachelor days I had bunk beds in my pad,. I asked a young lady to stay the night. I later asked if she wanted to get on top or the bottom. She said she'd take the top. I said, "Okay, I'll get the ladder." "Well, you sure think a lot of yourself!" she shot back.

*** Barack Obama has promised that although CEO's may continue to get Golden Parachutes, the public will be assured Golden Showers.

*** These new drugs are really sounding risky. A commercial for one warns that one side effect might be that it actually cures the condition it's being taken for.

*** My wife asked me to haul the trash in the yard to the dump. I said, "Whatdya want it in the house for?"

*** Eric Clapton recently broke down and admitted that not only did he shoot the sheriff, but he also shot the deputy.