*** Jews do believe in angels, except we believe that they come to remind us to feel guilty.
*** I wouldn't say that one of my aunts was a cold woman, but when my uncle died she skipped the first three steps of mourning, and went right to "Acceptance"
*** My aspiring actress cousin is currently studying several "screen treatments." They're treatments for how to overcome her delusional belief that she can be a screen actress.
*** I recently viewed a list of the 8 Worst Christmas Carols ever written---you've probably never heard them , and for a good reason:
1) "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Gold Teeth"
2) "Yes Sir, That's God's Baby"
3) "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem Steel"
4) "I'd Like to Give the Little Drummer Boy's Rump a Bump-Bump!"
5) "Hark the Hell's Angels Sing"
6) "Oh Tanenbaum, Have You Got the Wrong Holiday!"
7) "Grandma Got Run Over by a John Deere".
8) "I Saw Mommy Nagging Santa Claus"
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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