It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas Commercials

THIS IS NEWS TO ME:
"Calif. woman claims to see the Virgin Mary in salsa splatter"--- I'm tired of these Courtney Love stories.

"Historic Venice suffers worst flooding in 22 years"--- How can they tell? Anyway, I once read all about in the book, "Depth in Venice".

Survey Finds More Kids Cheat in School--- Just playin' Follow the Leaders!

"'You Can't Stop Us,' Pirate Leader Brags"---true, look how many sequels Jack Sparrow got.

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*** My sister said she wished she had done some research before getting married. She thought consummating the marriage meant pouring chicken broth on one another!

*** They told my sister she had to have a G.I. Series. She said " like 'Combat'"??

*** I do know in her promiscuous youth she had a series of G.I.s

*** I just watched a fascinating episode of Nova on Einstein. What a profound thinker with world-shaking revolutionary ideas. I couldn't understand any of them.

*** My son thought "The Day the Earth Stood Still" was when, so as not to spoil the shot,everybody froze when the planet was photographed from space.

*** Hillary Clinton accepted Secretary of State after being assured she wouldn't have to make the coffee in the morning.