The Dork at the Top of the Stairs

NEWS TO ME: Obama Promises Economic "Help Is on the Way!" --cut to file film of charging elephants, monkeys swinging through trees and schools of dolphins racing through the surf. (If you don't get this you'll be short of the Marx.

*** Whatever else can be said about the Wailing Wall, at least it's self-cleaning.

*** My uncle was once stood up at the altar. He tried to remain positive. " Otherwise, everything went off without a hitch!"

*** My aspiring stage actress cousin never got a break. She was understudy for Elaine Stritch's One-Woman show.

*** George Bush thanked returning Iraq soldiers with a "Job Well Done!". One shot back, "Wish we could say the same for you!"

*** My nephew suffered a serious ice hockey injury. He's had a stick up his ass ever since.

*** I tried to buy an electric car but they wouldn't let me charge it!

*** Times are hard. I saw one establishment with a sign, "Everything Must Go!!"---it was a hospital!

*** The lead singer of the Blowfish has gone solo, but no one gives a Hootie!