Levity

*** I told a gangsta-wannabe student that just because he still had the tag on his new cap, that doesn't mean he had a price on his head!

*** We had a lovely letter from a Japanese man who said his father was inspired to join the Kamikazes after hearing my father's accordion rendition of "Lady of Spain" in the USO.

*** Although it's about 4 months till Christmas, we think our mailman is already angling for a holiday consideration---he's actually putting OUR mail in our box!

*** I found an old pair of my Buster Brown shoes---of course I had to to have the decomposed remains of Buster and Tige removed before they would fit properly.

*** Alka-Seltzer Company has announced they are filing for bankruptcy because they found themselves in a state of Dissolvency.

*** Graveyard shift at a cemetery---now there's a lousy job!

*** Gov. Arnold Schwarznegger announced he will not speak at the Republican Convention---hardly a surprise, he's had a hard enough time talking anywhere else!

*** As Hurricane Gustav threatened New Orleans, President Bush, to avoid the repercussions of the Katrina disaster, is personally driving a truck loaded with 20,000 sandbags to the Gulf--- he said they were left over from use in keeping Cindy Sheehan away from his Crawford home.

*** I had a hell of a row with my son the other day who wanted his birthday celebrated at McDonald's---"Can't you think of a more appropriate joint for a 32-year old??!", I argued.

*** Amy Winehouse, in the middle of her Train Wreck tour, last night unveiled a new CD which such tracks as "I'll be DOA in Apple Blossom Time," "When You Pump My Stomach See of You Can Find My Nose Ring," "Clean and Sober Seem To Be the Hardest Words," and "What a Friend I Have in Jesus---He's My Pusher!"